HUMAN RIGHT PRACTITIONER
For Your Attention:
Sequel to your non response to my earlier letter to you on behalf of the Trustees and Executors to the Will of our late client. I wish to notify you that your name is listed as a beneficiary to the total sum of 2,600,000.00 GBP (Two million six hundred thousand British pounds) in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. Until his death he was a major share holder in big companies which include textile and construction companies.
He was a very great philanthropist during his life time. He died on 9th January 2004 at the age of 68. He was buried on the 3rd of February. Even though he was a foreigner living and working here he requested before his death that he be buried here in his words, "I regard here as my home and the people as my people."
I therefore reckoned that you can receive this fund as you are qualified by your name identity. All the legal papers will be processed on your response. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to us your current occupation, telephone and fax numbers and contact address and also other vital details about you to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.
Congratulations.
Yours faithfully,
Barr Hayden G March
marchhayden13@gmail.com
Phone Number: +44-703-193-0781
Advice Line: +44-703-184-3675
297 Coventry Road
Sheldon
London
Dear Hayden,
You didn't mention in your e-mail the name of the diseased. It's been so long... nearly four years now. I think I know who you mean, but I'm not sure. In many ways, I wish the money had gone to a charity instead of my pockets. Having all this money only confuses me. It's a great temptation.
I walked Kingsland Road today, during my lunch break, looking for a pound store that sold dish racks. Is the cold as bitter in Sheldon as it is in Hackney? Or do you have a warm and snug office? I then sat in the Dalston Star café and ate an egg and sausage sandwich (white bread) and drank a hot chocolate. My table faced Kingsland Road and I could watch pedestrians heading for the nearby Oxfam to do their Christmas shopping. My winter coat is no good; I wish I had a second skin.
I went out for dinner with my work colleagues last night. They all laughed when I asked the waiter to pack the leftovers so I could take it home. I should have listened to my colleagues; the pack leaked in my bag and now I need to wash it as well as my winter mitts. My diary now smells of chicken cashew sauce and egg noodles, and all the pages are sticking together. And I still haven't put up a Christmas tree (though I've draped some shiny decorations on Pablo Picasso's photo). And cats follow me everywhere when I walk London's streets at night.
I hope this e-mail finds you well.
James Carvalho
Oh, man, fictional spam, right on, Ollie.
😂 The adventure begins! It makes a great observational diary too. Nice to remember those little London details.